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These people, who had been oppressed, many of them murdered, horrible things had taken place-and Bishop Tutu said-he said, “The people who should be on this commission should be victims, legitimate victims, who have had their lives ripped apart by the atrocities of Apartheid-but not arrogant victims, instead, wounded healers.” Bishop Tutu was asked by the government, “Who should be on this Truth and Reconciliation Commission?” (the commission that was going to reconcile the government, post-Apartheid).
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The book was about the Truth and Reconciliation Commission in South Africa. You know, just before Father’s Day-and I was reading a book by Antjie Krog called Country of My Skull. I was reading a book-now, remember, I’m having a difficult time. I was wrapping up this book-had spent a year thinking about all the stuff that I didn’t know because I grew up without a dad-and the ways I was trying to deal with that-and offering hope to people, and-ĭennis: Let’s say, at this point, your father stepped out of your life, when you were about two-ĭon: -when I was about two. It was a very, very difficult time for me. I can only tell you what comforted me, in my not getting an answer to that question. What’s your answer to that question? Why did God allow that?ĭon: Well, that’s one of the toughest questions that we deal with. You’ve now spent a couple of years, reflecting on your lack of a relationship with your father. I want to ask you, Don-you’ve now written a book. It’s not that I wanted John to pick me up and set me on his lap, but it did make me wonder why God would allow me to grow up without a father saying he loved me or was glad I was around.” You said, “The McMurray family dynamics allowed me to picture what should have existed in my own life. You write a paragraph-and I want you to answer this question, though, that you write about in your book. One of the families was the McMurray family-John McMurray co-authored this book with you-and you spent about four years with them. To supplement that, or to try to fit together the pieces that were missing in your life, you connected with a handful of mentors over your adult life. I want to welcome you back, Don.ĭennis: Don, you grew up in a home without a father. We ran across a book and invited the author of that book, Don Miller, to join us. I had some of those same thoughts as I listened to why government has put together, and all of the things government is trying to patch, and prevent, and protect, and keep wired together all because of the family breakdown-and a good part of them because dads are not dads and fathers to their children. Then, you have to look at Malachi, Chapter 4, where God says, “The hearts of the fathers are going to be turned back to their sons lest I come and smite the land with a curse.” It leaves you scratching your head and saying, “Are we reaping the bitter fruit of dads who have left their assignment, left their post, and this is what we’ve got?”ĭennis: Bob, I was in a briefing at the White House-I don't know, it’s been a couple of years ago now. You know, you can’t just point to two things happening at the same time and say, “Well, one caused the other” right?-īob: -but you do have to look at kind of our social pathologies, as a nation today, and the fact that there are a lot of absent dads in homes today. What do you do, as a young man, when you grew up, never having heard your father say, “Well done, son”? We’ll find out today.Īnd welcome to FamilyLife Today. Our host is the President of FamilyLife ®, Dennis Rainey, and I’m Bob Lepine. I wanted my dad to walk through the door, right then, and say it was going to be okay, and say that I was good at this, and that I needed to keep working on it-and realized, very deep, emotionally, “This will never, ever happen,”-that he wasn't going to.īob: This is FamilyLife Today for Thursday, April 12 th. It was late one night-shut down the computer. You’re five chapters into a book-nobody else has read it-all the voices are saying, “You’ve gone down the wrong trail,” “It’s not working out,” “It’s not going to be good.” Here’s Donald Miller.ĭon: Being a writer, there are times you’re really alone. Bob: There is a longing, deep in the heart of a boy, for his father’s approval.